The Donald Trump Jr.
$40


The Donald Trump Jr. is Donald’s newest and greasiest looking Russian tie. The Junior met with Kremlin-linked lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya in an effort to obtain damaging information about Hillary Clinton back in June of 2016. And don’t worry, it’s only corroborated by an unnamed source named Donald Trump Jr.  




 
The Flynn
$40


When Trump hires a National Security Advisor, he makes sure to hire someone with Russian Ties. Flynn was paid by RT, the Kremlin-funded propaganda network. He also visited the headquarters of GRU, Russia's military intelligence agency. After lying about his contact with the Russians, Flynn was forced to resign. Let's face it, it's hard to keep a job when you have a Russian Tie like this.





The Manafort
$40


Paul Manafort may not be Trump's campaign manager anymore but he’ll always tie Trump to Russia. Manafort was an adviser to Viktor Yanukovych, the former president of Ukraine, and he was business partners with Russian oligarchs, Oleg Deripaska and Dmitry Firtash, who are both close with Vladimir Putin.




The Kushner
$3,321


Trump can’t get rid of this Russian Tie, because it’s his son-in-law. Jared Kushner met with Michael Flynn and Sergey Kislyak in Trump Tower. It’s truly a beautiful Russian Tie. 100% polyester with a silky Kremlin finish.






Spicer doesn’t have any known ties to Russia but he does lie every day for a President who does. And when Sean Spicer can’t cover for his boss, he covers himself in the White House bushes.




Jeff Sessions is known for two things, being the face of the Keebler Elf Cookie brand and lying under oath about his contacts with Russians. With more and more details revealed every day, it’s safe to say this Trump Russian tie will only get longer. 




The Carter Page is the most lizard-like tie in Trump’s lineup of Russian Ties. Mr. Page has been meeting with Russian spies since 2013 and the FBI has been recording his phone calls ever since. Don’t take a page out of Carter Page’s book, this man is definitely going to prison.





SOON TO BE RELEASED

The Tillerson, The Roger Stone, The Felix Sater, The Miss Universe, The Sergei Millian, The Emelianenko, The Ivanka and The Donald.





QUESTIONS?

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